I actually can’t remember the last time I sat on the beach. Not at a distance where the sand was packed and the ground was level, but actual on the beach - sand between my toes, all of it..
I found myself wishing I could walk along the beach, letting the waves wash up against me pulling the sand over my feet as it ebbed and flowed, exploring the tide pools...there was so much my former body could do. I missed it..
I was simultaneously humbled with gratitude for being exactly where I was, though. In the midst of the grief and trauma and longing for a body that no longer existed, that came with this injury, right here, right now, I feel an overwhelming sense of normalcy. I’m away from the daily managing of caregivers, physical therapy, and work. I’m just a newlywed, in Hawaii, with her husband, enjoying a sunset on the beach. That, my friends, is something spectacular. .
There was a time my mother was my full time caregiver, I had no prospects of being able to start a career, and the most I went out to socialize was maybe once every couple months. I’m not sure how exactly I ended up where I am today, but I know for certain that it’s not to be taken for granted.