Someone once said to me that people share or write down inspirational quotes as a way to self-soothe when life is intense. Now Im not 100% sure on the validity of this statement however, it certainly resonates with me.
We've made it to 2020, where a public declaration of feelings, goals, joy or suffering is our social norm. So, here I am, sharing an old picture of a candle I took in front of a mirror. With some quotes and extra words underneath to communicate where I'm currently at.
Because life is intense right now and I'm self-soothing. .
1 1122 hours ago
You can't see what you can't see,
you can't know what you don't know.
That's why there are coaches and mentors in the world. To guide you into more awereness, more consciousness.
So you can get out of your box, if you want change your own label or decide to not even enter a new box......... Ask for help!
Our thoughts are so powerful.
They can serve to derail us or keep us on track.
Ever been blindsided by unexpected events beyond your control? I have. A few too many times if you ask me. And so have MANY others for myriad reasons.
But here’s the thing.
Every situation we face is defined by the meaning that we ourselves assign to it.
We can dwell on the negative (which typically includes that which is beyond our control) and sink into despair.
Or we can find something to be grateful for, any small thing to start, and begin to shift that inner voice. Take action.
While we may not be able to change the circumstances we can change our outlook and that can make a world of difference.
Worry and stress cannot control the situation.
But there is one thing that is ALWAYS in our control. How we RESPOND.
May that response propel you to get back on track, even if it means venturing down a brand new path. 📷@pixelatelier
1 2517 January, 2020
All of me
Infusion day. I haven’t shared this on my Instagram site. I do have another account with a support group that I belong to where I get the specific encouragement I need.
Part of being authentic is sharing your story. I spend lots of time in the hospital and in this infusion center getting the medication I need to keep my autoimmune disorder, Crohn’s Disease, at bay. I will be doing this for the rest of my life.
This is a part of embracing my “suck”. I am not sharing this for sympathy but only to share a small part of what got me in the trenches that I now am fighting to get out of. It is a daily struggle but one I am now determined to face fully . I will never quit fighting even when my body wants to.
It is a daily mental game. Discipline over emotion. On April 14, 2017, when I was diagnosed, my life changed forever.
The aftermath of my diagnosis was almost as bad as the diagnosis itself. I lost friends, my job, my dreams and so very much more. It’s been three years and I am not better. I believe if I can get my mind game strong I can make some strides.
This is just a small tidbit of my battle. I wanted to share this because if I can help one person it will be worth the vulnerability and the risk of sharing my personal struggle with this disease.
Embrace the “suck”.
How well do you really know the people you think you really know🤔? Kwasi was just hit with an earth shattering revelation😧😟 and is finding out - the hard way - that nothing in his life is truly as it seems. His world is about to take one interesting turn and might never remain the same ever again.
What's worse? The culprits!!!
What could this revealed secret be?
How will he handle it?
Kodi kodi sio!
We grabbed this bed a few weeks ago for Harrison. It looks cool right?
The thing you should know is that from the time Harrison was a baby, we would lay together every night and talk about our day and discuss stuff that was bothering him. It was our #motherson time that was a defining part of our relationship. #attachmentparenting
This bed has changed that and neither of us knew what that meant to get this bed. #changeishard 😭
We do not get that same time together. I am sure that we will find other ways to connect and keep talking, but that time was so special and easy. But for right now, it sucks. Long run, it's gonna be ok; short term, it is hard. Please tell me I'm not the only mama out there that has these moments. #connection
This parenting thing is hard. And messy. And beautiful. And the very definition of bittersweet. We want them to grow up and become amazing humans, but we mourn the moments that have changed. This is simply one of them for me, for us. #parenting#mama#staylittle#boymom#favoritepersoninthehistoryofever
How do we experience renewal?
This weekend as we continue our series called “New” we will be looking at reNEWal in seasons of hardship. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” #gracechapel#new#renewal#blindsided
0 7611 January, 2020
There’s a lesson here ya’ll... and it isn’t a funny one! Many see this as a meme of jest. For us, this is real. While THE HIM was legally blind when we married, he wore glasses and had some sight.
Me? I have narcolepsy. He could have told me to bounce.
Err’body got something.
Some of it you know about.
Some you don’t until later.
Many will tell a person to kick rocks before considering someone with everything they want... but he or she is legally blind... he or she walks with a limp... he or she has a skin condition... she doesn’t have natural hair or long hair... his beard won’t grow in thick.
And you may be passing out on love you can’t see coming your way.
I felt the fear bubbling up inside me. Anxiety filling my thoughts and only one place to go...hit the floor; screaming, crying and pleading.
I sat for weeks in disbelief. Clinging to every ounce of faith I had collected over the years. Hoping and praying my baby boy would be healthy.
My faith was extremely clouded by my fear of the unknown. It was as if I no longer knew what faith was. I desperately had to find it again and FAST.
I fell again, and this time it was to my knees. All I had left to do was pray. Every hour of every day I had to redirect my thoughts and give EVERYTHING to God. I knew I was not capable of getting out from under the fear but I knew I could hand it over to Him.
Soon, I began to truly trust again and believe that God knew what was best for me and what I needed in my life.
Because of that trust I was able to find joy in the last month of my pregnancy; still having some anxiety but ready to meet the little boy God had given me.
He never ceases to amaze me. I'll forever have pride in my relationship, I never would have thought one person would mean so much to me... But here you are, blowing my mind every chance you get. #love#blindsided#luckygirl#myman
Don’t overlook red flags because you’re excited and intrigued by a specific prospect . What you see now as mysterious, can very quickly turn into secretive and untrustworthy. What you currently label as passionate and hyper focused, can easily fade to anger issues and selfishness. Be alert, think critically,and above all don’t get blinded by externalities. #datingtips#blindsided#infatuation
I finished this book in a day! And couldn't have been happier with how I spend my day off. This book made me laugh out loud and my favorite sport was the backdrop. Who knew I would love sports romance?! Have you read many sport related romance? .
1st: Brick - I MEAN, DUH? You controlled the entire game and made so many people your sheep. 🐑
2nd: Jen - I really struggled who to put second but I feel like you were the first person to make a big move against Brick? You were also good at comps honestly and if you didn’t get out, you had a good chance of winning the game.
3rd: Topher - I feel like you were overlooked this season. You had a wonderful social, strategic, and physical game.
4th: Bridgette - You were in the minority but still fought your way to stay in. I wish you could’ve gone further! Good social, strategic, and physical game!
5th: Sugar - You stole my heart this season, you were a badass who wasn’t anybody’s sheep. You always made alliances to socialize and tried really hard in challenges.
6th: Alejandro - Yeah you got out just before jury but you were a great active player who made moves, thanks for that intense vote reveal round lol. You almost got Brick’s #1 ally out.
7th: Ellody - Oof I thought you actually had a good social and physical game. You could’ve survived your elimination if you used your idol. :( #Blindsided
8th: Tyler - I feel like you had a great social game and physical game, you could’ve won this and been higher in rankings. But you followed Brick sometimes and let him gain too much power. 😭
9th: Zeke - You could’ve done wonderful at merge but unfortunately your team completely blindsided you. Your physical and social game were great this season though, proud of you!
10th: Samey - You could’ve been higher but you only really displayed your skills at merge and the comeback challenge. You also let Brick get way too much control rip.
11th: Dawn - You were a cute intruder in the minority but unfortunately you got a little inactive towards the end, and your idol was fake. :(
12th: Justin - You only really started getting into the game strategically at the end when it was too late, y’all already let Brick get too far. But you kept trying in challenges even though you sucked which was cute.
13th: Scarlett - You were a really fun new player who was active for challenges and social. Sadly, you got out way too early.
19 243 January, 2020
Information is key to keeping yourself safe in Chicken Heist. With Flash Grenade, you can prevent others from seeing what the upcoming events are. It’s a great way to spook and eliminate some players 😉
1 903 January, 2020
Sitting on my #balcony this #beautiful#morning having a #cup of #coffee and a #moment of #REFLECTION and #GRATITUDE . #2019 was an EXTREMELY #PAINFUL#CHALLENGING
and yet #AMAZING#YEAR
In the first 10 MONTHS
I was #BLINDSIDED , HURT
and #DEVASTATED by someone closest to ME
that I #loved deeply 💔
I encountered #OBSTACLE
after OBSTACLE coming from
Every direction and it seemed
There was NO WAY to OVERCOME or even get by
I suffered the #LOSS of
2 FAMILY MEMBERS
during the #HOLIDAYS
that were my heart ❤
I dealt with #ISSUES with #BUSINESS#FINANCES #HEALTH#MOVING and it
Seemed to just KEEP COMING
During all of it not once
did I say " WHY ME?" .. I chose to KEEP THE FAITH 🙏🏽& an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
regardless of WHAT CAME MY WAY...I continued to #PRAY
and #WORKED at FINDING A WAY 👑
And in spite of all I was dealing with I continued to get out there EACH DAY and DO MY BEST TO BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS 💜😇💜
The 1st 8 months would have broken most people for they surely would have given up or given in to LESS THAN THEY DESERVE ...but I am a #WARRIOR and I kept fighting
In the last 4 months GOD
began to OPEN NEW DOORS
and REPLACE and RESTORE
I cannot even begin to share with you the many MIRACLES GOD brought about in my life at the 11th hour...🙏🏽💜🙏🏽
and I give THANKS all throughout the day ...every day
I SHARE THIS TESTIMONY with you as YOU MAY BE in a similar position and you are tired of fighting and it looks like there is no way out and no hope to overcome your circumstances and you are ready to give up or give in
I urge you to please continue to fight... Continue to pray
🙏🏽 Keep the faith 🙏🏽 And keep an attitude of gratitude, Continue to be a blessing to others and watch GOD begin to WORK MIRACLES in your life as well, Watch him OPEN DOORS that you thought were permanently closed or would never open in your favor
Watch him begin to HEAL situations that you thought were a lost cause and to CHANGE the hearts and minds of people that you were looking to for a BLESSING, JOB, OPPORTUNITY or HELP.
STAY POSITIVE and throughout the Day
only SPEAK and AFFIRM the things you wish to MANIFEST IN YOUR LIFE ..
19 192 January, 2020
2019 was one of the most emotional years I’ve ever had, all the ups and downs you can think of. I was Very thankful and excited for some moments and extremely disappointed and sad at others. 2020 big things! Let’s go!! 💯
So, I had to catch a dark-thirty, flight yesterday morning.
Although it was a last minute flight, I was fortunate enough to grab a window seat.
As I entered the plane and settled into my seat, I opened the window blind in anticipation of watching the sunrise.
To my surprise, the gentleman sitting in the middle seat beside me, reached over me and pulled the blind back down---without asking me or saying a word.
I sat there dumbfounded for a second and contemplated how I should respond.
I decided not to say anything to him, so I sat up and opened my blind again.
Without delay, he immediately reached over me---- again!
This time, he slammed the blind shut as he gave me a cold stare.
Hummn...at this point, I'm definitely unsure as how to respond.
I'm not confrontational but I'm too bothered not to respond.
In my quiet voice, I asked, "Sir, do you have a problem?" "The only problem I'm having is you! You don't own the window. I want it shut---it's too early!" By this time, we have the attention of the immediate rows surrounding us.
Again, with my quiet voice, I said, "Then maybe you should have purchased a window seat to control the lighting and the view." He immediately snapped back and said, "You people think that you are so entitled. There are other people on this row besides you and it's too @#* early!" O.K.... "You people?" Now, I'm telling!
I put my call light on to call the stewardess to intervene.
When she arrives, he is positioned over me with his hand holding down the blind.
I point to him and attempt to explain to her what's going on but he keeps interrupting me telling her how rude and ridiculous I am.
I don't say anything, I continue to allow his actions and words speak for themselves.
Other passengers are looking on and giving me supportive and sympathetic looks.
I'm calm and he's ranting.
The stewardess then looks at me and ask if I'd like to relocate to another row further back with an open window seat ( I was on row 8 and she was offering row 27). Huh?
Me? (Scratching my head)
Before we officially say goodbye to December (and 2019!) Here is my #WrapUp for the month! (Rated out of 5 stars–as usual!) 😉😊
📔Serpent & Dove: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
📔Defying The Boss: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
📔Coldhearted Boss: ⭐⭐⭐⭐½
📔Twisted Hearts: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 👈 (HOT!!!!)🔥
📔All Wrapped Up For The Holidays: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
📚In Safe Hands–Complete Series: ⭐⭐⭐¾
▫▫▫ #ampersanddec19 | WRAP UP
❔ WHAT WAS YOUR FAVE READ FOR THE MONTH?
3 8231 December, 2019
🌞| B L I N D S I D E D |🌞
1 1731 December, 2019
10th person voted out of survivor Tahiti and the 3rd member of the jury, Jack please bring me your torch!
Jack - ☪️☪️☪️☪️☪️
Parvati - ☪️☪️
Alec - ☪️
(Alec got self vote)
OMG ROBBED WITH AN IDOL, wow this vote has to be the biggest move of this game so far. I ranked you very low at the beginning of the season because I wasn’t sure how you would play I was wrong to do so. Every part of this game was a strategy to you and that is what I respect, you made moves and always had control of who went home and you always had the numbers on your side also you had a plan for everything on what would happen which impressed me, if they had kept you, you would have had a huge shot at winning. But tonight people saw how threatening you were and made a move and you were blindsided. Thanks for playing!
— @brayden_beall prediction - 4th @hbickat prediction - 4th
My prediction - 17th
Actual placement - 9th
We’ve been conditioned to understand that the only valid reason for leaving or ending a relationship must be rooted in a monumental issue or breakdown.
But having a catastrophic breakdown isn’t the only reason why love stories end.
Relationships don’t just end out of nowhere for no reason.
There is always a reason things end.
When the end comes as a result of many mini fractures in the foundation of the relationship, without proper repair, eventually those “little things” that have been swept aside, minimized, ignored or invalidated, hit their breaking point and their combined magnitude can crash an entire relationship to the ground.
When this happens it will likely occur to one person in the duo that the ending is coming out of nowhere, they experience being blindsided, confused and deeply hurt by the seemingly cold and unreachable state of their former partner.
This is crushing.
It ruptures us from within.
Because there isn’t one pin pointing moment of breakdown. It was a collection of minor fractures that went unnoticed or were noticed, but not repaired properly.
And so the return to self begins the moment a relationship that’s suffered too many minor fractions, crumbles to the ground.
When the fog lifts and the ache subsides, we’ll start to see those moments of fracturing when we co-contributed to the lack of repair, are actual moments of self-abandon and self-rejection.
We repair when we feel worthy of love.
We repair when we value remaining connected to ourselves and others.
We repair when our willingness to heal trumps our obsession with winning and being right.
And in situations where there is absolutely no interest on the other person’s side to repair with you, when we’re coming at love from a place of healed integration we set and back up boundaries, and if someone is truly not willing to meet us, we choose loyalty to our soul and remove ourselves from a dynamic that would require complete self-abandon to stay.
But looking at all of these dynamics takes time, courage and a willingness to feel the grief of the ending first.
😢 This letter from a mum gave me goosebumps and left me in both tears of sadness and joy. Some things in the world are so much more important then the small 💩. I’m so glade this young girl never gave up and kept fighting. I felt every word in this letter. You are an angel. It’s funny how the world works, I inspired her, and she inspires me. Like this young girl, I’ll keep fighting, I’ll keep being me and I will never let anyone change that. Read all 3 photos. Trust me. ❤️ @mamamiaaus#inspired#blindsided#moretocome