Day 50: The Cult of Busy •
Have you ever asked someone how they are and received the answer “busy”? And then maybe found yourself in a busy-off? Or perhaps wondered how come they are so busy when they don’t have to contend with all the things you do in your own busy life? Or is that me being uncharitable? Probably! •
But something didn’t feel right when I was looking in Smiths at 2020 diaries the other day. Now don’t get me wrong - I love my planner, I live by my outlook calendar, I make a lot of lists... The problem is that busy and lack of time have become symbols of status, productivity and worth. Why else would all these 2020 diaries equate busyness with aspiration? •
A friend referred recently to “the parenting treadmill” - “we are all on the same one!” She said and I had visions of hamster wheels, spinning furiously. There’s a lot of treadmills to be on - the career treadmill, the being a rounded person and not going mad treadmill.
At first I wanted to reject the concept of going nowhere fast that a treadmill implies. But actually, what if rather than being a hamster wheel, or the travelator at the end of Gladiators, we felt like we were on a nice sedate carousel? Or even occasionally had fun going ridiculously fast, just for a bit, on a kids roundabout?
The problem is not doing the same things and not getting anywhere. The problem is that we expect that doing all these things will get us somewhere. This is the arrival fallacy. As soon as you realise that life is not a journey (or it is, but to death, so you don’t necessarily want to hurry it along), it makes you look at being busy a bit differently. •
I feel happiest when I have a broad margin in my life. Time to breathe. Time to read. Time to dream and be creative. Time to snuggle and cuddle, take baths, eat cake, indulge in watching box sets. My worth is not measured by how busy I am. My 2020 might turn out to be my least busy year yet.
PS. When I was in Smiths I also saw this Darkmilk selection box. Just getting that out there now... what a great present for sofa scoffing with a good book!
Sürekli bir koşturma halindeyiz. İşe gittin, okuldan geldin, yemek yaptın, e bir de temizlik derken gün bitti. Bazen bir es vermeye ihtiyacımız var. Kendimize ayırdığımız zaman oldukça kısıtlı. Sinemaya gitmeyi, spor yapmayı, alışverişe çıkmayı da bir kenara koyun. Hiçbir şey yapmadığımız bir zaman kendimize tanıyor muyuz? Sadece kendimizle kaldığımız, nefesimize odaklandığımız, hafif bir kitap okuduğumuz ve teknolojiden uzak kaldığımız bir zaman, zihnimizde uçuşanların gelip geçmesini izlemekle kaldığımız bir alan... Hızlı ve yoğun hayatlarımız kendimize boş zaman tanımayı sevmiyor. Hatta o kadar sevmiyor ki boş bir anın içine düştüğümüzde hemen birşeyler yapmalıyım! moduna geçiyor. Kendimize hiçbir şey yapmamayı izin vermiyoruz. Oysa bu lüksün farkında olsak belki de zihnimiz dinginleşecek, vücudumuz dinlenecek ve ihtiyacımız olan tüm enerjiyi toplamış olacağız. Sizce denemeye değer mi? ✨
I had to take some time out to recover from a bad stomach that lasted ten days. During that time I had more time to think about how I channel my energy and I came to the realisation that that less is more for me. I knew this already but sometimes I have to keep reminding myself of this, and the body has a way of telling you when it’s being overstimulated.
I realised that I tend to over exercise, and this can actually cause more stress on the body, which is counterproductive if you have pcos.
I also over work and I sometimes don’t think I am doing enough, then I don’t give the right time and attention to the projects that are really important to me.
On a good note though, taking time out gave me the chance to implement positive changes inside, and to find a way of achieving my goals in a way that doesn’t compromise my health again. I also worked on the more spiritual aspect of my health and I have found how important guided imagery meditation and affirmations are for me. So actually sometimes taking a step back can actually help you move forward! #busydoingnothing#relax#timeout#pcosblogger#taketimeoutforyourself#takingastepbacktomoveforward#resetyourself#rest#rejuvenation#restandrelaxation#recovery#healthiswealth
Day 42: Procrastinating
I am a terrible terrible procrastinator. It stems from being a perfectionist, apparently. I am trying to overcome it, and frankly right now I am failing.
• @gretchenrubin says work can be a form of procrastination and she’s right! Firstly I am BLOGGING instead of working. Secondly, look at this lovely conundrum I have spent the day working on instead of writing my assignments! My fabulous friends admired my tools and practicality when I shared this photo on our WhatsApp group. However the admiration was unwarranted as the vacuum is still not fixed. Mr Y fixed it once before, famously in his pants, back in the day. I don’t know if he’ll be able to come and fix it again any time soon though.
So having abandoned the vacuum, I went for a walk for fresh air and vitamin D, bought some tortilla chips and posh green salsa, and I am promising myself an evening of rest, relaxation and fun, if I can do just a little bit of work now. Here is my attempt at a self-pep-talk about why I need to finish this essay.
And relax! Feeling so blessed & happy to be in my happy place by the sea and soaking up the sunshine, fresh air....and peace! And not just the peace of the surroundings but the peace I finally have within myself! When you finally work through and release old trauma and deactivate your ‘fight or flight’ mode you can truly just be. It’s a daily practise and one I’m far from perfect at but it’s gets easier and more rewarding every day! I cannot wait to start my transformational coach training at the end of the month so I can help others find their inner peace and happiness and also improve my management skills with my artists! Right now it’s time for tea, chocolate and a whole bunch of nothing!! #bliss#weekends#busydoingnothing#teebythesea#coachintraining#mysoberlife