i don’t wanna remember you,
i don’t wanna remember your lips,
the way it felt when you said “i love you”
or how it felt holding you,
i really don’t.
i don’t wanna cry over you anymore,
or pray for the pain to stop,
or wish badly you want me again,
i don’t wanna love you anymore,
i wish we were less than strangers,
people who never once glanced.
i don’t regret meeting you
nor do i regret loving you,
i just wish i never did.
because fuck, it’s so hard.
it’s so hard being your friend,
it’s hard not being your friend.
it’s hard watching you be happy without me.
but i’m glad you are.
our relationship feels like a dream,
as if it never happened.
you act as if it never did.
you treat it like it never did.
i wish i could too.
i wish i could move on.
i wanna let you go,
i wanna not talk to you,
but thats a hard task for me.
god i love you so much.
but you’re never coming back,
even if i was right there infront of you.
you’ll never be mine,
you were never mine.
i really can’t do this anymore.
this is the biggest pain ive ever felt.
the hardest thing i had to do.
i really don’t regret you,
nor do i regret us,
or the time we spent.
it’s the memories i wish would disappear.
my feelings that feel too real.
i can’t let you go,
but i can’t hold on anymore.
it’s gotten to the point where my words cant come out,
yet i can’t stop talking.
i wanna write you amillion letters,
but i wanna leave you with none.
why were you so important to me,
when i am nothing to you.
why do i still love you,
when you never loved me.
i thought i needed you in my life,
but you being in it,
made me realize that,
i didn’t need anyone,
sure its nice to have someone,anyone.
but i’m doing fine on my own,without you.
yesterday you chose to end our friendship,
after i begged and begged for you to stay,
you still left. but.
you came back two hours later,
and as much as i appreciate that,
i don’t need you in my life,
its a burden,
i’m not gonna unfriend you,
or stop talking to you,
its human nature to.
one day, i won’t be waiting.
not for your texts.
not for your calls.
not for your posts.
i’ll have moved on,
truly, fully moved on.
i even got you to agree to forgetting it all,
like we even happened.
yes that hurts and i wouldnt ever want to,
but i think its best to forget,
forget i ever loved you,
or you ever loved me.
cause if i continue to remember it,
keep you alive,
i’ll still want you,
and i need to leave that past behind.
but thank you,
for being the love of my life.
none of this will ever change how my heart continues to beat for you,
it will continue, as days go.
even when i finally love another,
it’ll still think of you.
i really wish that was us,
i wish that was me instead.
but it’s not and it never will be.
Modern life seems set up to avoid loneliness at all costs, but maybe its worthwhile to face it occasionally. The further we push aloneness away, the less we are able to cope with it, and the more terrifying it gets. Some philosophers believe that loneliness is the only true feeling there is.
We live orphaned on a tiny rock in the immense vastness of space, with no hint of even the simplest form of life anywhere around us for billions upon billions of miles, alone beyond all imagining.
If it's my forgiveness that you want,
It is not for you,
but for me.
Take it and walk away,
but don't you wait for more.
The doors you closed have been welded shut.
And the keys have been thrown into the seventh sky.
i was with my first love for about a year or more, but it wasn’t till i met my great love, that i knew what real love was, and it only lasted two months with her, it was a hard break up, took me 3 years to get over it, i ruined friendships and relationships because i wasn’t over her, i dated a girl after her, lasted a year but the girl i did recently, only 4 months yet she had more of an impact than that one year relationship. time doesn’t necessarily mean much, when someones the one, theyre the one, they could have been in your life a week and still matter more than those whos been there for years.
Every Friday I’m going to spend a max of 10 min, telling a short story about my life and travels. Hoping to inspire, help, relate and simply make you smile 🙂🙂🙂
First chapter is Venezuela 🇻🇪🇻🇪🇻🇪 and will continue for a few weeks. Full story in my blog soon.
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What do you do when you move to a new country for a year and it’s not going to plan?
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