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• it is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in the broken world. ✨life update✨ about two weeks ago, i had a pretty hard week. well, two weeks actually. luckily, the day after my breakdown i had a therapy appointment. it helped me clear my head & figure out where to go from there. after my job’s Mardi Gras party, i went home early & slept for hours. and the rest of the weekend, i got good sleep. and then, during this entire week, i happened to get good sleep too. so when my boss happened to give me the day off on a day i typically work, i took full advantage of it. i went to school, came home, and cuddled with my pup. and then later, i got my hair trimmed, went to Aldi, came home & cooked dinner. and as i type this, i’m sitting on the couch with my pup watching The Fosters & checking up on emails & homework. i’ve been monitoring my meds & really focusing on taking care of myself. i fell off the wagon, and that’s okay. but the important thing is, i didn’t let myself spiral. i took huge steps to ensure i would be able to pull myself out of my rut, and it feels so good to be able to have that ability now. i’m so proud of anyone who has that ability or is trying their hardest to build up that strength. it’s a long, difficult process but it is so incredibly worth it.
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I had to do something today that was really hard for me.
It felt terrible, it didn’t make me happy, but I have no doubt in my mind that it was the right thing to do. It was what God told me to do.
Even after just an hour or so I feel the Holy Spirit relieving me of some of my stress and guilt. I know it was him who don’t me to do the hard thing, and honestly doing it wasn’t the hard part. It was the thinking part. The earthly consequences part. I had to surrender. Now, God’s got it, and he will make beauty out of all of the ashes. He can do that. That’s what he does.
You are all loved. Never forget that.
Long time no speak. It's not that I didn't want to, but I didn't make the time. Currently though, I'm feeling inspired and motivated and wanted to finally post. That goes for YouTube too, or really any of my hobbies. Hopefully I can get back to doing socially-productive things. I miss it.
I'm currently in three clubs at my university (@firstname.lastname@example.org@anovelbunchmru) and I just thought I'd say that they are the best things I've ever committed to. I've realized the two things that keeps life worthwhile and fun; things I personally think everyone should strive for. Because they're more worthwhile than I can articulate.
1) Friends!!! Socializing! Having deep, genuine conversations about things that matter to you, whether that's simply your opinions and perspectives on a social issue, or working to do something about it with the people around you. University life is the perfect amount of intellectual (and general life) enrichment I've needed my whole life. I'm so blessed for anyone in my life, just by being you, you make my life interesting!
It might sound weird coming from me: I'm known as an introvert, but the more people I meet, the more attracted I am to the enthralling act of discovering yourself through other people. I think I really am an extrovert at heart. Nothing excites me more than spending time with people I like.
2) Speaking of excitement, having things to look forward to. But also enjoying the present; you can't live your life in the future. So doing interesting things to break up the boring pattern of everyday routine, and managing to stay excited about those things, is how I personally try to live. It's much easier said than done, but for me, joining clubs has helped tremendously. It's so motivating to want to take action and make change in your own life when you're surrounded by people who have similar desires and interests.
I guess in summary, surrounding yourself with things and people you love is what I've been trying to do for awhile now. It doesn't mean I'm always happy of course, but it certainly puts a lot of things in a more pleasant light.
****see my website, www.whirlpoolofcrows.net, to read my blog and learn more about my writing and novels, “Decline”, “Mya”, and “The Underside of Wars”! OR find them on Amazon by searching “Jared Kane” and one of the titles. Decline: https://amzn.to/2tMdhoy. Mya: https://amzn.to/2tb2RyO. Underside of Wars: https://amzn.to/2RuEAMo.
🇩🇪 Du brauchst Zucker, wirklich? Weißt du eigentlich was Zucker in deinem Körper auslöst?
❌ schwächt das Immunsystem, und erschwert die Abwehr von Viren und Bakterien. ❌ wirkt sich negativ auf die Fruchtbarkeit aus. ❌ stört die Aufnahme von Mineralstoffen. ❌ beschleunigt den Alterungsprozess. ❌ verändert das Darmmikrobiom.
❌ führt zu Konzentrationsstörungen. ❌ fördert Karies und Übergewicht. ❌ verstärkt Stimmungsschwankungen. ❌ ständig hungrig und nie wirklich satt. ❌ fördert Schlafstörungen....und, und, und. 🤨na, brauchst du immer noch Zucker?
Bei mir löst Zucker Heißhunger auf immer mehr aus, und verstärkt meine Stimmungsschwankungen, und was macht er mit dir❓
🇮🇹 Ho bisogno di zucchero, sul serio? Ma sai che danni può creare? ❌ abbassa il sistema immunitario. ❌ abbassa la fertilità. ❌ interferisce col assorbimenti di vitamine e minerali. ❌ velocizza l' invecchiamento. ❌ cambia il microbioma intestinale. ❌ abbassa la concentrazione. ❌ favorisce il sovrappeso e la carie. ❌ aumenta i sbalzi di umore. ❌ abbassa il senso di sazietà. ❌ aumenta i disturbi del sonno....e, e, e.
🤨 hai sempre bisogno di mangiarlo?
Se io mangio zucchero ho più fame durante tutta la giornata e aumentano i sbalzi di umore, e cosa succede a te❓
on the day of Love, Love everyday ❤️☀️❤️
We Love You ❤️
Happy Valentine’s Day ☀️
7 17015 February, 2020
...a Love letter... .
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As you continue to heal, you will find that your ability to trust in yourself will continue to get stronger. Your ability to show up for yourself when life feels overwhelming, chaotic, and scary will continue to get stronger. Your faith that things will be okay will continue to get stronger.
You’ve got you —even if that’s hard to remember (or believe) sometimes.
Healing HURTS! Healing is PAINFUL! 🩹 It sure as heck ain’t glamorous. I felt LOADS of gut wrenching sadness, self hatred, shame, guilt, and anger through out my healing process. I recall feeling as though there were heavy bricks weighing me down. I constantly felt sick to my stomach in early sobriety. The negative emotions I felt were so strong that some days they physically disabled me. I grieved the loss of friendships and I said goodbye to my old way of living. Multiple resentments had accumulated over the course of my life and it was overwhelming. I didn’t even know where to begin. I had played the victim role for so long. I didn’t understand how much that mentality was hurting me. For the first time, I decided to take accountability. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we all have a role in our misery that we need to (or should) own. In my opinion, taking responsibility of your life -means- cleaning up your side of the street. Cleaning up your side of the street means owning your part in all the conflicts that accumulate in your lifetime. It takes undeniable strength and courage. The biggest breakthrough I had during my healing process was when I decided address my wrongdoings. I knew that I had hurt people and negatively affected them. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do because the people I attempted to make amends with...those exact same people had also hurt me in some way. In owning my part in past situations, I was able to find freedom and relief. I learned that I can’t control whether those people decide to own their part or not. Waiting on an apology I was never going to get was and is a waste of time. POINTLESS and draining. I finally realized that I can only control myself and my actions. I always knew I couldn’t control others but it never actually sunk in. I was always in angst. I never surrendered to that fact until I went alcohol free. Once I accepted reality, things changed. I could finally look in the mirror and respect what I saw within myself. Healing is a process that won’t happen overnight but if you stick with it, the pay off is the best gift you could ever receive✨ True Peace ✌🏻 🦋
i have been so obsessed with the idea of finding myself and understanding myself, and i had a revelation as of late. i am becoming more and more convinced that the very concept of “self” is just a waste of time. i have been so worried about defining my entire personhood, i have barely had any time to just enjoy myself as i am. i’m just a flesh bag of bones and blood attached to a lizard brain that sends out signals when i’m hungry or sleepy or angry. i have thoughts and feelings and dreams and fears, likes and dislikes and that is beginning to feel like enough. you do not find yourself. there is no mystical journey we partake in that leads us to stumble into the blueprint of our DNA, all explained and labeled for us. we create and define ourselves everyday through our actions, words, feelings and thoughts. i used to cling to labels and personality tests to try to figure myself out but i’m DONE. i’m not a puzzle, i’m a person who is constantly changing and evolving. i am a person in a body with a soul and a lot of love to give and smiles to be had, who has faced difficult times and persevered. there are hundreds of versions of me, all co-existing in the world through the collective perspectives of everyone who has ever met me. i think that’s wonderful & beautiful. i don’t need to solve the philosophical mystery of who i am, i just need to grow comfortable with accepting myself as i am, even though i don’t always know who that is. instead of trying to discover myself, i want to explore the people and places surrounding me. i think we all need to step out of our heads a bit more, and focus more of our attention to the outside world. go out and just feel the sun on your face every once in a while. and don’t forget sunscreen 🌞 •