Marriage wasn't always this way for me and believe it or not, there have been times when I wanted to walk away from my marriage....with at least one time I threatened to do so. Deep down I knew ISA the day was probably never going to come but I needed to show the seriousness of the matter at hand (at least enough to put the fear of repeating it across). It seemed like a good plan given that it worked and the big guns needed to be summoned while I was treated like a boss temporarily (that "oya sorry stage" with madam getting told "you too go and beg your husband"). You see, I believed that it worked for me because I got the desired result. My wife had plenty to say because she still felt I pulled a Joker move for an ordinary card play but she kept her cool.
One day, a Nollywood movie gave her the desired chance and she said "why is it that guys like threatening with divorce?"
I knew what was about to happen, I had been handed the part of defending guys and given I had done it too, I had no choice. I decided to play it cool too and went "haba now, no reasonable man will say that every single time, it's one of those things you do when you are very pissed off and maybe scared for yourself and even the said wife". Then she landed her real point. She came to me, held my hand and said: "I GET YOU but PLEASE take it from me when I tell you this, " A man" SHOULD never use that on his wife. IF he uses it ONCE and it works he's LUCKY because it is very DIFFICULT to pull off. IF he does it again, it will only leave the woman PREPARING for the WORST such that if it does come with said worst, she'd already be READY to deal with walking away. SWEETHEART, what's in a marriage if the wife has started planning for divorce?" I had never been that hit by a message before, it was clear, hard, precise and gently but firmly delivered. There and then, I knew I was never going to try it again.
- Shamshedinn Giwa