Today Phil pooped inside for the third time ever. I didn’t see it and stepped in it.... we also had a house inspection *and* I was late for work when this went down. As I was on my hands and knees trying to quickly wipe up his squished shit, guess who thought it would be cute to jump up on my back and casually use me as a couch? I get it Phil, it’s YOUR life.
Also, don’t touch my stuff. And don’t sleep in my bed. If you poop in my space I’ll squish your face. And don’t show off with your cuteness. It’s annoying. You can pay me off with some of that soft food you get from the canteen. We Gucci? 🐾 👶🏻 🐒 🐶 .