So off we went on a one night camping trip by the beach. This was only a few days before I leave which creates a good "send off" memory for me until we meet each other again.
Just spending the night talking, having drinks, and getting to know each other, felt like it bonded us stronger together. I feel like every couple should try a trip together in solitude around the first year they are together as it brings you two closer.
We hold people we love accountable. It’s a way of showing care and respect. It’s how we use relationships for growth.
🍋 In parenting: we hold our kids to standards to teach them to be good humans. We model these values to show them and to hold ourselves accountable. And more so when we act in a way that doesn’t line up with our morals, values and rules we can teach our kids this lesson by correcting ourselves and acknowledging our mistake, or accepting their feedback and challenging instead of “because I said so”-ing them.
🍋 In friendships: we have to allow for spaces where we justify or repair our behaviors and are responsible for how we impact the people we love, good and bad.
🍋 In romantic relationship: when we enter into a partnership we have to have transparent discussions about our expectations. We need to set boundaries around how we show love and want to be loved and then follow through with this commitment (short term or long term).
🍋 In relationship with ourself: I saved the most important for last. We need to know our worth, set our boundaries and make conscious efforts to make all decisions from this place of self respect.
Transformation coaching for all fitness levels 📲 www.anthonyconfessore.com
2 85 minutes ago
One nervous system calming another: co-regulation 👥.
There’s a lot of talk out there about self-regulation. And yes, self-regulation is vitally important for our mental health, physical health, and overall wellbeing.
It also does not occur in a vacuum. How well we self-regulate is informed both by our own practices AND how effective our relationships are at co-regulation.
➡️ Think about it like this:
If either you or your partner (or both) are prone to bouts of anger, relational shutdown, and misunderstandings without repair, how regulated are you going to feel?
You could meditate for hours a day and, still, probably not very.
We are biologically wired to respond to the nervous systems of those around us. We have done this ever since we were infants attuning to our primary caregivers.
When the co-regulation process suffers, the health of the relationship suffers.
Co-regulation may not come naturally to us if the infant/caregiver relationship mentioned above was less than ideal. Fortunately, it is a skill that can be practiced.
(Note: I say it all the time and I’ll say it again - there has to be a mutual commitment to this. You can’t “fix” other people.)
🔹 Name that this is a struggle within the relationship
🔹 Sit down and look at individual and mutual patterns that contribute to dysregulation
🔹 Slow down during moments of tension
🔹 Make active commitments to turning toward, curiosity, and connection
🔹 Tune into body language that may signal shutdown or lack of safety
🔹 Seek out a trained couples counselor to help
When we grow our capacities to navigate this process, we grow our capacities to love more vulnerably and authentically.
We enter a feedback loop that soothes through the act of seeing and being seen.
(I post original mental health content daily - like ♥️ and follow 🚶♀️ for more.)
1 25 minutes ago
Went to sleep last night saying Friday was going to be a great day.
I wake up interrupted by my five year old telling me he is scared to be alone in the dark.
Honestly at first my first response was “go to your bedroom 😠
But lately I have been finding time to calm my mind and actually thought before opening my mouth. Politely said come in here and we can be together.
It’s simple to make a first move for a negative response. But takes more patience and planning to respond in a positive manner.
Anyone can respond with aggression thats easy. Making time to be polite takes more effort on your part.
Funny how quick we are to be nasty to someone but think twice before saying something nice.
By the way my day turned out wonderful and me and my son danced and shared some great memories with one another.
Besides being happy live your best life.
Forget yesterday and live today like you keep saying you will tomorrow!
Anyone have a story or suggestion on this topic please share.
“Life is too short to be with someone who doesn’t make your whole body sing with happiness. Life is too short to give the wrong person a chance. And it’s too damn short to stay with someone who hurt you because you’re afraid you won’t find love again. You will. And that love will be even better.” — Marisa Donnell
Amazing photo by @montanaleephotography
27 6,1582 hours ago
“Wrap your arms around me, I'll wrap my arms around you, and just for a little while, we can pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist. For a little while, we can disappear. Now that's what I call magic.” — Maxwell Diawuoh
Amazing photo by @hollylea_
42 11,8426 hours ago
The narcissists were afraid to be vulnerable, while the Empaths were courageous and decided to love and care for people even if it means they may be disappointed. ❤️