Year 2, Day 63 - in amongst the chaos, moments like this are lovely. Here’s baby R treating me and Bo dog to a wonderful morning tune 😬 G was a great violinist but really modest with it and only the people that knew him from his youth or really well would know that. When baby R was born, G was really keen he got all the musical chances he could have - from his renditions of ‘nappy time’ and other classics on the changing mat to G picking his guitar up after so many years and singing to him at bedtime. Obviously he can’t do that anymore but just after he died I got my childhood piano brought up from my mum’s house and have made a concerted effort to try and play again. It’s good for me and I felt I was keeping G’s hopes alive. And it seems it’s paying off, except maybe for Bo dog who would rather the cacophony stopped and we got back to eating treats and chasing balls around 🐶 #widow#youngwidow#toddler#piano#dogsofinstagram#grief#griefjourney#griefandloss
Thanks to everyone who came out took part in our live training in Manchester There’s no better feeling than teaching people how to trade the financial markets and invest in bitcoins successfully , giving people the opportunity to make money anywhere in the world !
Happy holiday season to all! Such an incredibly festive vibe with music playing and people singing holiday songs. Lucy my pug was a true star at this gathering ... kids and adults alike wanted to just love on her and she, of course, ate that up. We however topped the evening off with real eats not just affection. We warmed up with gooey cheesy French onion soup then walked back to indulge in chocolate peppermint ice cream ... the perfect way to kick off December. Remember it's the simplest things that bring the most joy into our lives.
For #nationalgriefawarenessweek I wanted to share this photo. That’s because this is overwhelming grief.
This is not even 24 hours after he died. We’re still smiling and look like we’re happy. We were because we were together & watching Jungle Book. But we were also broken from the inside out. Every part of our lives from the way we woke up, ate our breakfast, drove our car and spent our weekends would change.
This is what grief looks like. It’s hidden. It’s wrapped around the everyday. It hurts like hell and makes you not want to go out of the house. When you do, you’re often so done with crying there’s nothing left to spill out your eyes. That’s not because you don’t want to share, its because you’re empty and the emptiness takes a long time to be replenished.
If you know someone who grieves check in with them this week & every week. Not only if the death was recent, but also if the death was so long ago that you can’t even remember. I can assure you they can. They remember it all like yesterday & grief never goes away, it just wraps and weaves around a new life that was never anticipated. .
Grief isn’t just death either. It’s loss.. .
Loss of health, finance, marriage, friendship.. the list goes on. Grief is complicated but it’s really just love backwards.
So love those that grieve even if you don’t at the moment. We will all know loss in our lifetime, it’s a certainty of the human condition. We need to talk about loss more too. This is just a gentle reminder that the best gift you can ever give is love 💓
4 161 hour ago
It just wasn't my parents and my daughter Chloe that I lost! I lost time. I lost who I was. I lost all sense of everything I believed. And what I thought life was going to be.
Today I was talking to my sweet friend @sharingsolace Crystal and she was asking me to catch her up on my year.. and there is a part of me that was stuck. She knew that from last year. See I was so stuck in moving. I couldn't move forward and I couldn't go back and I was in this limbo and I explained- actually I've been living. There isn't a do-over. Living doesn't wait. Grieving can't be done for me. There were still people to love. To appreciate. To celebrate. I actually am so blessed to have amazing humans in my life and I thank God for them! I've worked really hard to be here, to be present and to be someone to be in a headspace to love with my whole head and heart. Yes, I grieve and yes I live. I can have both. There isn't a choice. I want you to know when and if you are ready you can choose that for your journey of grief also- your way and your timing. Go click on the link in my bio, After Chloe and Friends Online Summit. Every Grief you can experience is discussed and I actually may have an amazing surprise coming! One or two actually! Go click 🙈🙃
All my love and grace 💛💛💛!!
1 82 hours ago
lmao probably one of the proudest and dumbest moments of my gaming life
Recently I’ve found myself in this space, feeling the need to be busy all the time.. Pretending to be strong but really just trying to be so busy that I didn’t really feel anything ..Today I decided to sleep in... called out from work and crawled back into bed...and that’s okay... It’s okay to rest!! It’s okay to do less, to say No!, to be sad , to sleep in..it’s all okay!! #griefjourney#grief#griefsucks#rest#widow#missingyou#foreverhis
There is room on our walls for all four of our stockings. .
I made Justin’s stocking the year we got married and I did a terrible job with the glitter paint😆 Of course that makes it even more special today. It was made with love ❤️ ..
I still miss him every second of everyday but, this time of year, it’s broken down to milliseconds ! 💔 #widow#xmasstockings#widowedmom#widowedyoung#remarriedwidow
Hey friends! I just published my first article on @medium. Based off of my personal experience with grief and lots of expert guidance from @gennaholgate, it outlines many of the reasons why exercising is an effective coping strategy for grief. It's a long one, so grab some coffee or a glass of wine, read, share away, and let me know what you think!! ☝🏼Link in profile!! 📷: @taliakitephoto
How often do you worry about what other people think of you?
How often do you find yourself changing your behavior to try to please other people? 🤔
The thing is, we can’t actually make people feel happy. Impossible. Only they can do that with their thoughts.
It doesn’t matter if you are the best chameleon in the world, people are still going to think whatever they will, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
I look back on all the people pleasing I’ve done in the past and I know that every time I’ve done it, my inclination was to try to control what other people thought of me so that I didn’t have to face my own self-doubt inducing thoughts.
My brain would tell me, and still tells me, “If they like me, I can like me.” That isn’t how it works. It really doesn’t matter what other people think of me. ✨Your brain will keep finding evidence that matches your thoughts about yourself. ✨
So if someone gives you a compliment, but your belief is that it’s not true, you won’t be able to accept the compliment.
You will excuse it. You will dismiss it.
We can’t control the thoughts or feelings of other people, but we can change our own thoughts and feelings. 🤗
One person whom purchased a ticket for this evening is now unable to make it to the event, so @reneeb17 and I have decided to gift that person’s spot to someone who needs it.
PLEASE COMMENT BELOW to be entered ONLY IF YOU CAN MAKE IT to the event TONIGHT, which is at 8PM EST / 7PM CST Online on Zoom. The entry offer is running on Facebook and Instagram, with one winner being randomly chosen from all who enter.
💫Winner will be announced at 6PM EST/5PM CST (two hours before the event)💫
Also, if you are already coming this evening, please ensure you’re able to work Zoom by trying a test run and sending me any questions you may have as soon as possible. I won’t be able to assist much as the time draws closer (within an hour of the event).
Much love! 💕💫
Every day you’ll be reminded of your loss. .
It may be walking by the chair they would sit in. Or doing laundry and realizing it’s only yours now. It could be millions of things, but I promise something each and every day will remind you.
The pain of your loss is always there, whether it’s been 2 weeks or 2 years. You will learn to live with this void, you will learn to find a new normal, and you will always carry them in your heart.
18 37223 hours ago
Grateful for my two little sidekicks today! Thanksgiving was Justin’s favorite Holiday. He enjoyed cooking the food and eating it for days!Holidays can be a little hard, but having these two little boys by my side makes it a little easier!
Trent! My love ❤️
Happy Heavenly birthday Trent!! I can’t lie...looking at this picture of you...one of your last... still takes my breath away! The thought of you today makes me smile soo big. Especially thinking that you are MORE alive than you’ve ever been.
Do I still have moments when I weep reaching out for you… absolutely. I think I always will this side of Heaven. Probably because I never got to say good-bye. You were just gone. I honestly hate that part. Do I also have moments when I look in the mirror and see a strong, brave, courageous woman who has stepped into her healing…100% yes.
It has become part of my identity in Christ. Healed! I have fought HARD for this healing. For healing in every area of my life. To give glory to God and to also honor the Godly covering you brought to my life. Always reminding me to put my faith, hope and trust in Jesus first.
I miss you today on your birthday! But I’m doing really really good and feeling pretty alive myself these days! Can’t wait to see you again! Put some cake in the freezer for me! I’ll eat it when I see you next! All my love and friendship! Forever! TT