I used to have this one relationship that was very toxic. And though it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, it was familiar so I kept nurturing it. Eventually I ended things, but like any toxic ex friend/lover...sometimes they pop up on our feed or send the cringy “I miss you” text. 🤢🙅🏼‍♀️ You may have heard me talk about this relationship before, it was with this chick named Comparison. .

She showed up today. And even though I didn’t want her to, she stuck around. She started rehashing all our old stories, like, “you’re not as pretty as her”, “other people are way smarter than you,” “your body isn’t as fit as it should be”, “that’s cool, she does it better”. And on and on she went.. I started to believe her, because you know, we have history and we used to be really close. .

I tried ignoring her- but she persisted. Then I switched on a favorite playlist, really listened to the music and started signing along. Before I knew it, I was dancing in the kitchen and we ran into my fun but sometimes ignored friend, Self Love. .

I told her about what Comparison was saying, and Self Love pointed out that just because I don't look like someone who I find attractive, doesn't make me any less attractive. She reminded me that flowers are pretty, but so are Christmas lights and they look nothing alike. She reminded me that if I’m doing my best, that’s perfect and enough. That I’M perfect and enough. And she told me Comparison has no business coming to my house uninvited and that I should ask her to leave. So I did. .

Once she was gone, we ran into my other friend, Confidence. And the three of us get along really well! It’s incredible what amazing things can enter your life and how much fun you can have when you make room for them. .

I know Comparison will drop by again. But it’s my choice if I let her in. Choose your company, including the ones in your head, wisely. And while we’re not in control of a lot of things in life, we are ABSOLUTELY in control of how nice we are to ourselves, and how long we allow those unwanted guests to hang out in our precious space. 💗

Menton, France

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